I Forgot That Personal Style is a Journey, Not a Destination

Have you heard the saying “the cobbler’s children have no shoes?” Well in my case it’s “the personal stylist has no clothes”. Okay, that’s not true. I do have clothes. I just don’t like most of them anymore.
Like all of you, the past couple of years have been an exhausting journey of ups and downs. And yes, that’s life. But I think we can all agree the these past couple have been a real SOB.

As it came time to start going back out into the world I suddenly found myself a little lost when it came to what I wanted to wear. I kept thinking that I needed to “get back” to myself, to my personal style. To get over the fact that I’m a size larger than I was at the start of Covid and just buy new clothes. But I found myself struggling. This is literally what I do for other people all the time. Why was it so damn hard?? Just because of my weight increase??

But as I was working with a client recently I uttered the phrase, “personal style is a journey, not a destination. Yours should evolve with you.” And the preverbal light went off. Maybe I should take my own damn advice! I don’t need to RECONNECT with my style. I need to DISCOVER what my style is NOW. For who I am now, not 2 years ago and 10 lbs ago. Because I haven’t just been aging for the last 2 years (eye roll), I’ve also been, changing.

EVOLVING.

And my style has too. I’ve done some work recently clarifying who I am on the inside and it feels great. Now I’m ready to show up as my authentic self on the outside too.

These are the steps I’m going to take and if you find yourself in a similar position, whether it’s been 2, 5 or 10 years since you last loved what you wore, I hope you’ll try it too.

Step 1: Your Three Words

Choose at least 3 adjectives you would want to use to describe your style. I say “would want to to use” because I’m not asking how you would describe your style now. But rather, how you want to be described going forward. Here are just a few terms to get you thinking. I could fill an entire blog with just words to describe one’s personal style.

Sporty

Sexy

Vintage

Grunge

Trendy

Ethnic

Edgy

Artsy

Trend-conscious

Eclectic

BOHO

Rock ‘n' Roll

Classic Americana

British

French

Feminine

Masculine

Androgynous

Chic

Elegant

Step 2: Get Inspired

“A goal without a plan is just a wish” I love that saying! Putting together an inspiration board is a great way to be inspired and to hone in on your personal style. You can use Pinterest, a physical bulletin board or whatever method feels right to you. You’ll likely start to see a pattern in the pictures and words that you choose and this is the beginning of defining your style. The key is to just choose things you LOVE. Not what you think you can pull off.

To see my ever-evolving inspiration board click here.

Step 3: Acquisition

Armed with your 3 words and inspiration it’s time to go forth and conquer! As you purchase new pieces remember to ask yourself these questions:

Do I love it?

What will I wear it with?

Where am I wearing it to?

For more on this, visit my IG post about these questions here.

Step 4: Check in with yourself

Lastly, as you get dressed ask yourself…

Is this ME?

If the answer is “no” then try to hone in on what’s missing. Reference the words you chose and your inspo.

I’ll be taking these exact same steps and posting along the way on IG. I hope you’ll choose to follow me.

I want to LOVE what I wear. I want them same for you. So if you would like some expert help, I’m here for you. I can be reached by phone, email or DM.

There isn’t anyone else in this whole entire world like you. So why dress like someone else? Show the world who YOU are!

Shapewear... a.k.a. Pride-Swallowing-Siege-Wear

Last week I had to do one of my least favorite clothing rituals… determine which shapewear I need for my event outfit (in this case a family wedding). This demoralizing activity almost makes me want to opt for a mu mu. Instead I soldier on and try on version after version of modern-day corsetry trying to figure out which part of my anatomy I loathe the most in order to prioritize which area I should focus on. Tummy control? Thighs? Backfat? What level of compression is called for? How about something from my big toe to my jaw line so it can give me a face and butt lift all at the same time?? What would be the clever name for that piece Sarah Blakely??

Tina Fey Spanx GIFfrom Spanx GIFs

But the truth is that many times when I put on shapewear it ultimately makes my outfit look worse. Possibly because the fabric of the garment now doesn’t hang the same way because it’s clinging (for dear life) to the shapewear. Or because, as my father always says, “you can’t squeeze a balloon at both ends and not expect it to pop”. That fat’s gotta go somewhere! So I end up with a lump in a new place. Hence, I think it’s fair to say that my relationship with shapewear could only be described as a love-hate relationship (unfortunately I have a similar relationship with exercise and dieting). When I do finally find the shapewear piece that will enhance my outfit it’s nothing short of wizardry.

My conclusion is this, and as you shimmy or shove yourself into your holiday finery keep this in mind. Shapewear should be used to smooth and enhance an outfit, but we are not airbrushed humans. And if God intended us to be “perfect” He would have made us that way. So go for the tummy/waist/butt combo or whatever makes you FEEL GOOD. Because the goal is to walk into that holiday party feeling like a million bucks, not to pass out from lack of oxygen.

Click to shop these pieces.

Here are a few of my go-to’s.

Happy Holidays!

To see how the outfit turned out and my super-fancy selfie backdrop, check out my IG page: @jspersonalstyling

Are You Ready to Zoom?

Quick Tips to Look Your Best on Zoom

These are simple tips for looking your best on Zoom calls, and don't require buying a thing!

1. ZOOM SETTINGS
Did you know that Zoom offers filters? First, click on the settings icon in the upper right corner. Next, click on "Video". Here you can adjust the light and even soften the image. You can choose to be in HD, but personally that's the last thing I want! (Actually ,I kinda wish everyone had bad eyesight so I would look better!)
It's best to play around with the settings to find the balance that's best for your computer and lighting.

2. CAMERA POSITION
No one enjoys looking up your nose and they shouldn't be looking down your shirt. If necessary, raise your computer up by setting it on top of a book, a shoebox, or whatever you have around that's stable. (Clearly, I could have used something more stable!)

3. FACE A WINDOW
Lighting makes a huge difference! You don't need to buy any fancy lighting. Just position your computer facing a window. You can even set up a folding table in a room if the desk is built in and facing the wall. These two pictures were taken in the same room. In the picture on the left I am at the desk facing the wall. There is a window next to me and a transom behind me.
In the picture on the right I turned my desk around to face the window on my side. Nothing else was changed. Huge difference! And it didn't cost a thing.

4. DON'T BE CAMOUFLAGED
Lastly, wear a color that contrasts with your background and flatters you so that you stand out from your backdrop. Unless it's a virtual lesson in guerilla warfare, there is no upside here to being camouflaged with your surroundings.

In terms of what to wear, solid colors or subtle prints are best. Wear colors that flatter you and avoid solid white or solid black. Confused about which colors flatter you? Wondering how to make the most out of what you already own to look good on virtual meetings? Wondering how to mix and match without being repetitive? I can help with that! Schedule a virtual or in-person consultation to get personalized recommendations to look your best on Zoom or other virtual meeting platforms.

Thank you for reading! I wish you good health and successful online meetings!